God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
