How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
