Got a toothbrush?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cannot find my penis.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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