So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
