I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
