ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
