You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
