I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
