She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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