last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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