dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
