More tranny stories later!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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