clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
