Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
