Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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