Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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