I wanna passion pit in your ass
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
