How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
