I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
