Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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