He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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