areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
