He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
jump out the window naked night went bad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
