you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
