We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
