i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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