as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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