Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
