I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
