how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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