Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
id be glad to
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
