dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
