fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I look better un-naked...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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