your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
