UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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