Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
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