do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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