Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
