Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
