Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
