I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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