You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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