i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
