I'm laying in your front yard are you home
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
