Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
