Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
