Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
