forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
