And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
