i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
