Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
